About tantra for gay
Teaching guys how to connect their sexuality with consciousness. Don’t expect group sex or an orgy
In the spring of 2008, David Kopecký decided it was time to share his own experiences with tantra and tantric massage with others.
The experiential workshops and courses have for the past four years support his motto "the power of touch in yourself and your partner’s life." Primarily focused on gays, bisexuals and “open minded” men, helping them to return to their own natural and playful states in a safe environment represented by a group of men. For the fourth time, at the end of August this year, a three day massage course entitled “Celebrating the male body” will take place, within which even beginners will discover a new perspective on their body, understand the power of touch and learn the basics of tantric massage.
Can you describe what takes place during the weekend course “Celebration of the male body”?
Participants are in the course are there for themselves, unashamed of emotions. They talk about topics that may not be exactly cheerful but which are part of our lives. During the course of the weekend an indescribable atmosphere is created. A shared energy is created, and when it starts to flow, as a guide I maintain and support it. The energy itself then opens others. As a participant inwardly you feel that everything is fine, you feel safe and happy, that you can allow yourself to yell, dance with someone who is unknown to you, but you feel towards him a certain closeness, or you want exchange with him a massage.
I myself had previously been rather introverted and when I decided to visit a group of guys who organized trips or parties, I didn’t feel very good. I wasn’t able to behave naturally, something was missing. I later understood why, as a participant in the Tantric and self realization courses several years ago, when Czech tantra was in its infancy. The atmosphere of the group is created by its overall openness, heartfelt in the meaning: I am who I am, I don’t want to just show that I am "happy". During the course, nobody has to care if his hair is in order or if the colours of his clothes go together, no need to show the world that everything is "super cool." The use of masks and self-control in the company of others, to appear amazing and perfect, depletes energy that could be used for a much more pleasant experience. Additionally, it creates sadness and suppresses our true nature. When we take off the masks, we become lighter, cheerful and more playful. We feel alive instead of just surviving. That's why leading courses such as “Celebration of the male body” is something I enjoy and that’s why I organize them. The weekend is a kind of return to the "male-camaraderie" energy accompanied by massage, homemade vegetarian meals and residing in a beautiful and quiet location amidst the Jizera mountains.
The weekend encounter provides the opportunity to become more centered, clear your head, discover your true desires, wishes and intentions.
So “celebration of the male body” and other courses always take place in the Jizera mountains?
We alternate locations. Courses are conducted primarily in Prague. Occasionally we travel to cities such as Brussels or Barcelona. “Celebration of the male body” will take place in Sklenařice again, it is an almost completely solitude place with views of the mountain peaks and green fields of Jizera, with homemade vegetarian meals. At each “celebration” we try to attract a new chef. We also celebrate with our other senses. (Laughs) We also have an international presence. Last weekend we had men from Israel, England, Belgium, Germany and even from India attended.
Would you recommend such a course rather to a shy beginner or an advanced person who jumps into it headfirst?
Definitely both types of men. It is one of the weekends where those attending for the first time meet those who have already attended a similar course in the past. The intensive “Celebration of the male body” provides a good opportunity to overcome all sorts of boundaries, whether generally your own fear of groups of people, or contact with other gay men, from massage, touching unfamiliar bodies, communication, and other blocked points. We can look at these boundaries or blocked points and realize what hinders us in life, or realize what we fear. Others may come to relax, unwind, clear their head or to get acquainted with others. No one forces anyone into anything, no one is made to attend all meetings during the weekend. Everyone behaves naturally according to how he feels.
Fine. And when I ask as someone completely new to this what should I primarily expect from this type of weekend?
“Celebration of the male body” is mainly three days of relaxation, time to turn off our thinking minds and recharge our energy as a result of a weekend full of intense touching. It is also an opportunity to get back to being more centered and to clear your head, discover your true desires, wishes and intentions. Celebrating the male body is not just a seminar about massage, also taking place are meeting by touching, meditation, drumming, sauna in the winter, in the summer samples of thai chi in the countryside or other such activities.
When we play and we’re misbehaving, we’re again children and we turn off stereotyped behavior, patterns and rationality. And this applies to sex as well.
Describe a typical participant of this or your other courses?
It certainly can’t be said in any simplistic way, those who attend the workshops include students, men who work as therapists, teachers, doctors, scientists, civil servants, lawyers, massage therapists, small business owners, unemployed, it's quite diverse. Anyone who signs up and attends, is courageous. Hat's off to them. It’s certainly a "male" decision - they want to change something, to move forward, to learn. Almost everyone experiences some fear, immediately before the seminar, but this is perfectly normal. Those attending range in age from twenty to fifty years old, with the majority being men around thirty years of age. At times couples attend, who work together in the group, but they are part of the overall atmosphere. For some, it's one of the few ways how to be generally open and share with others their current life or partner related situation. Insight or experience of others in the group help him with ideas on how to change the situation or resolve the problem. The weekend isn’t meant to serve as a therapeutic course. We don’t cure anyones illness, we don’t say what anyone should do, but we only work with the energy that allows to achieve a state of relaxation in which everything flows and can heal old emotional wounds or blocks.
You're talking about blocks, emotional wounds, given your experience what’s the most common problem the guys face?
Shyness and total isolation from others, life or family. Fear of deliberate touch, from close encounters with other men. I sense even the lack of affection and cuddling. Fear of being touched. Generally, I see that according to most men, sex is about picking up someone and the performance of an act, and that's it. Sex is beautiful, when give it our awareness and attention along with the passage of emotions, tender and animalistic simultaneously. And above all, playfulness! When we play and we’re misbehaving, we’re again children and we turn off stereotyped behavior, patterns and rationality. And this applies to sex as well. We’re ourselves again (laughs). Some guys are afraid to show their masculine and feminine polarities. They go by the example, according to which they believe that if I show gentleness, I’ll be effeminate. But female polarity doesn’t only mean being effeminate - it's our internal water flow, it is intuition, the art of experience, doing illogical things that bring us pleasure. Ironically, even guys who are gentle can sometimes possess a very strong masculine polarity. It can appear as a clear decision, knowing full well what I want and do not want to, but also because I’m able to take care of myself financially. Masculine polarity is also reflected in the decision that I admit to myself and to the world that I'm gay, and I support it.
Sex is beautiful when we put him in knowledge and attention, and the passage of emotions, tender and animalistic simultaneously.
You talk a lot about energy and finding your center, it sounds almost mystical ...
It’s definitely not an esoteric group which for the weekend closes the outside world and escapes from reality calling upon various gods or hiding behind any faith. The intention is to connect each state of being to oneself, to feel one’s own natural being, to recall the male-child group with which most of us have experience from our childhood. At the same time to open natural communication with others, whether by speaking, looking or touching. Take off the mask, to play, to deepen their wildness, gentleness, sensitivity, opening within the heart.
As I listen to you, I still wonder when we’ll talk about nudity, after all it is tantric massage.
I’ll get to that shortly. Nudity is something nobody has to be afraid of. Everyone will in their own time realize this. My friend says that the fear of nudity arises mainly due to the ego, and he therefore started visiting a nudist beach. I work with nudity, and although I'm not a typical visitor to nudist beaches, I understand their philosophy. The courses are attended by men of all ages, shapes and sizes. The important point is to work with intimacy and their boundaries in this direction. Massage meetings or tantric games awaken the natural connection with our physiognomy. We show that there exists beauty other than lean muscles. The meetings often help overcome very exaggerated shyness, dislike to one’s body or to himself, fears of nudity, fear of touch. When engaging with the other participants we get true feedback from the heart that is cleansed of the perspective of the ego as it relates to physical beauty, amount of money a person has, or their social status. Our mind produces feelings of fear, that’s why the intention of the weekend is to turn our thinking minds, or rather our rational component off, take it out of operating mode, so that the body, emotions and feelings come to the forefront.
What if I'm curious heterosexual man, will I be received by the group?
The seminar is attended by mostly gay men, as well as bisexual men and a third group of "open minded" men who come to explore the masculine touch and closeness with other men. The meeting of all "groups" of men offers a wide spectrum of opportunities to help each other in "healing." If heterosexual man comes with a predetermined idea of what a gay man looks like , he leaves relieved and without fear to touch a man, embrace him or give him a massage. (laughs). Or, on the contrary, a gay man gets rid of his fear of close contact with a heterosexual man resulting in better relations between such men in their place of employment or in their family. It is important to say that male sexuality as such is very much alike in all men. I love the playfulness and openness, which quickly take the place of the initial embarrassment and fears. I enjoy observing that change take place. How the guys are also changing expressions on their faces. As their eyes begin to shine. The guys who are initially quite closed in the beginning are at the end, almost always, do not want the weekend to end.
Since the beginning of the interview I’ve been waiting when this topic will come up. So I ask directly. Can I look forward to the exchange for sex?
(Laughter) You can, but you'll probably be very surprised. Our seminars are not about group sex. Even though a lot of work relates to sexual energy, work also opening the area of the heart as well as emotions. We talk a lot about sex. Of course. Sex is a part of a man’s life. The intention is to open "healthy" sexuality as something natural, to get back into the subconscious that sex doesn’t have to be associated only with fear, or that we are doing something wrong or secretive. It’s through the heart and touching that we realize the power of sexual experience, which may persist throughout the day instead of a ‘quickie’. As part of the course we teach men to view sexuality as part of their whole being. The very fact that we are talking about intimate matters regarding male sexuality, a large proportion of participants will open and release. They feel safe in a group of men who are in similar situations. They see that if they talk about sex, that nobody nekárá, nepoučuje and says: "Do you think about anything else?" Many are learning how to combine sexuality with consciousness. But it definitely is not group sex or an orgy.
Yet. Nudity, work with sexual energy, a group of guys who are into guys. You can’t tell me that sometimes sparks don’t fly.
Naturally, the guys get to know one another and form friendships for a shorter or longer period of time. During the four years there have been several pairs that got together and are partners to this day. Actually, the guys get to know each other as they really are, and how they put together. In the atmosphere of a weekend of self realization it’s not easy to be fake or be someone they aren’t, the energy of the course really, even if you’re completely closed, constantly heads toward our natural way of being.
Interview prepared by Martin Hýbner
Miguel Arango, for Belgium:
GSM: 0032 499 407 111, firstname.lastname@example.org (EN, FR, ES)
David Kopecký, for Czech Republic:
GSM: 00420 720 254 499, email@example.com (EN, CZ)
Facebook: Tantraflow Prague
Event facilitators: David Kopecký (CZ), Tai-ji system presented by Miguel Arango Isaza (Columbia).
For more information contact us: Workshop organization - Miguel Arango, firstname.lastname@example.org, GSM: 0032 499 407 111